A Final Journey within our Journey

This morning we went back to the orphanage for the last time.  As we rode the elevator up to Hannah's floor, I asked Alexander if he thought she'd be mad at us.  He said, "She's going to be really mad with you, mom, but not with me and dad.".  Turns out he was right.  She didn't want to have anything to do with me.  I was a traitor who had earned her trust and then violated that trust by leaving her again.  I was heartbroken.  I picked her up (she still screamed and tried to get away) and tried to talk to her.  I told her why we had to leave her at the orphanage and that she was now our little girl and we would never leave her again!  She calmed down, but she still would not look at me. 

Her sweet, sweet caregiver had dressed her in a hand chosen outfit and tried to find her some nicer shoes for her farewell day, but couldn't find any that were her size.  She gave Alexander some fruit from the fridge (everyone gives Alexander things, which is so thoughtful).  We put on her coat and hat, got her purse, said "Ciao!" to the caregivers and her roommates and other children, and we left.  Again, Hannah was not happy about leaving - she had been tricked by this routine before.  She rode cautiously on my lap in the car (she still wasn't looking at me) and when we got to the apartment, she started crying again and I had to pick her up and carry her inside the apartment. 

It took awhile, and she wouldn't let me leave her side, but she finally forgave me and we are best of friends again.  She seems to be even more relaxed than she was the first time she was with us here.  She is watching Alexander and mimicking things he does, or she wants to do what he's doing, like go out onto the veranda.

I'm a little worried about what will happen when we leave the apartment again to go somewhere.  Hopefully, she won't think we're taking her back again.  I also think it may be quite a while before John and I are able to have a date night.

Right now she is taking a nap, along with Alexander, and now, John.  All kids asleep at the same time?  I must be a miracle mother!  I wouldn't go that far, but I will say this:  A miracle is anything that shows forth the power of God.  It is a miracle that I am Alexander and Hannah's mother.  And for this, and for all the miracles that have happened and continue to happen in my life, I am extremely grateful.