I am mama!

Today we decided to take a different approach with Hannah.  We wanted her to have more contact with John and Alexander and see how she would react.  Again, when we came in she was happy to see me but not happy to see J and A.  We went into the big playroom and Hannah didn't want to go.  I let her take me down the hall a couple of times and then we went to the room.  She was not happy about going so she threw her sunglasses on the floor and then threw herself on the floor.  It was nothing like her former tantrums; she was just seeing what I would do.  I told her to pick up her glasses and bring them to me and she did.  Then she came with me into the room even though she was very nervous.  We just sat by the door and she watched J and A play.  Then she started looking through my purse and playing with things she found.  At that time, John came over to talk to me - not too close though.  He asked me if I brought our Serbian phrasebook with us and I got it for him out of my purse.  Hannah did NOT like that at all.  She started crying and throwing things, including herself, on the floor.  Hmmm, is she two years old or what?!  I told her that she couldn't do that and it was okay if daddy took something she wasn't using, etc.  She was crying and John asked if he could take her and try to comfort her and we thought, well, she's already upset, let's see what happens now.  She arched her back and tried to get away from him and twisted around to find me and yelled 'mama!' - twice.  Yep, she meant ME!  I then took her and held her to settle her down.  She was really upset and I had to hold her and sing to her and talk to her to calm her down and she also started chewing on her fingers.  She chewed on her fingers the rest of the time we were there.  I figure that she must be teething because yesterday she had a runny nose, too, but she's not sick.  After she settled down, I let her down and she laid stomach down on the floor with her head on my leg.  John decided to get close again, so he crawled on his stomach over to me and put his head on my other leg.  She thought about getting upset, but never did.  She just kept a very close eye on him.  We thought that maybe because he was down on her level and I was between them that made her feel okay.  Whatever reason, she let him talk to her and rub her back for a little while.

When it was time to go we took her back to her caregiver and she started crying and was so upset.  She wanted to stay with me.  Her caregiver put her in her crib and Hannah fell down and just wailed.  We could still hear her as we waited for the elevator and it was all I could do to not go back and get her and take her with us.  I almost started crying, too.

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.   - 2 Nephi 2:11

Soon, my tears will be those of joy, and I won't have to leave my baby and listen to her cry.  And that day is getting so close!